The Second, Last Meeting

The day has something good in it. The sun was extra bright, the birds were more chirpy and her heart, it was blooming. But what made
her happy this?? What made everything this lively??
A call.., a call from someone she never expected. Someone she bid goodbye to, though reluctantly and on a sad note but there was
nothing she could have done. She couldn’t hide her excitment, with sparkling eyes, quivering hands and shivering voice she took the
call. He wanted to meet so asked her if she was free.Her heart started doing sommersaults, She felt like she has been granted, all her
wishes. Without wasting a moment she said YES, she never looked on her schedule when it comes to him.
She tried to pretend as if she was taking this meeting casually, warned all the butterflies in her stomach, taught them to behave so that
he can’t figure out how happy she was, assuming he was interested in knowing how she feels or how she is. Silly!!!
They met, he took a room to prevent uninivited stares and stories. He, following the custom, complimented her. She smiled and asked
about his life. She kept jumping from a questions to another to confirm if he was fine and doing well.
She : You got new hairstyle? But you look good with your hairs down
He : I look good, always
She : But i love your hairs that way, more!!
He : And I love you…
She : what
He : I always did , you screwed everything… Look, I love you, make love to me!!
She ignored the second part and hugged him, Commited her love for him. She was well aware that her insecurity, possessiveness,
irritating and annoying behaviour has brought their relationship to an end. But was glad to see that his love came back to her. Silly!!!
He : Make love to me.
She : (lovingly) Stop it. No.. I have got so much to share..I missed you like hell..Thankyou for forgivi….
He : We can always talk after making love.
She : (surprised) Please. You know am not that comfortable with this love making thing.
He : But its not the first time right?
She : (shocked) * You know I didn’t want to make love..did just for you.You know I take it as sin. You know how much i felt guilty
about, our love making. You know what I feel about it.You know how insecurely I behaved after it* Why are you behaving like a
typical cheap guy?
He : After the havoc you caused in my life don’t you think you owe me this.
She : (shattered) *Owe you. Owe you sex because I love you. Because I wasn’t strong to accept the drift in you after we had sex.
Because I can’t see you talking to your ex* I apologised from the bottom of my heart after realising my mistake.
He : Oh common… Its kind of compensation. And we too love each other so there is nothing bad in it.
She : You love me?
He : (irritated) Ofcorse I do. Why else am here..
She : (sobbing) then can’t you just drop this idea of yours for my sake
He : C’mon don’t act like a kid. Don’t start this crying thing. I can take this. You don’t even love me. If you love me then do it for me.
She : (convincingly) I do love you.
He : Prove it.
……continued

The Black Bride

You don’t understand. People will make fun of her. She is darker than you. You don’t understand the norms of society!!
Ajay : C’mon Mom. World is changing.We are above this racial discrimination.
Dad : Let it be Ajay. She won’t ever understand.She consider herself Mrs India.
Kanchan : Bhabhi..Look at yourself and than talk about others, If Ajay is okay then why do you have problems??

[ Hmmm.. I should look at myself first!! Its been forty-years now. But I clearly remember my time. After “Girha-Pravesh” ceremony when maaji saw me for the first time, She was dumdstruck. Numb.IT took her some good 10 minutes to come-back into senses.
Rajeev was the most eligible bachelor of his time. There were girls going mad for him, for his looks…Coming from a reputed Brahim-zamindar family and being an english scholar of that time, has brought him many good proposals. But my father being the higest-bidder grabbed the opportunity for me.
For a father, their daughters are flawless beautiful princessess and so was I for my dad. And so he failed to recognise that his daughter is black. Yes. I was a Bright Student. Good Learner.Expert Home- maker. And in the words of my dad, shares the same varna as of Lord Krishna. But I remember what my sasu-ma said “Sab badai ek taraf, ek gorai ek taraf”
She hated me from the very first day and looked forward for other prospects for Rajeev. But Rajeev was admant. He decided not to marry again. As “jo naseeb me hoga, wahi milega”. Maaji tried persauding him in every possible means.. Initially she and Kanchan (my sister-in-law) didn’t even let me fold his dried clothes as they will turn black too. Kanchan passed all the limits to insult me, in front of her friends or Rajeev’s friends as I was the “grahan” in the “chand”. Even Rajeev used to feel disgusted to take me out..to parties.. to shopping..for the fear of being spotted by someone known. From time to time he used to mention that “Vo hi hai jo ye shaadi nibha rha hai, koi aur to kabke chodd ke chale jata”.
When I conceived, all I was worried, was about the complexion of the child. I didn’t let any God take this issue for granted, not leaving them for a single moment. Thankfully I was blessed with a FAIR baby boy. And that somehow stopped the sufferings. Reluctantly maaji accepted me as her daughter-in-law..
I, sometimes, wonder what kept me going,what made me strong,why i keep tolerating all those inhuman gestures. Now i see same thing…….]

Ajay : Mom…answer!! Why are you so against this girl?? Aapko to ulta samjhna chahiye. Dad ne bhi to aapse shadi ki..
Beta…Shaadi kro par ousse ehsaan mat banne dena!!

The First Last Meeting

                                                1 Notification : Mr xyz like your comment
SHE :(shocked) likes my comment..HE liked my comment
She went to page, her eyes glued to the monitor..staring the dialog box, sayin he liked her comment..
Its been around 6 months, they broke up but She is not over yet..She is not someone who believes in PDA but that day, she was feeling and She just mentioned him in the comment..A cold sensation rushed down her spine. She didn’t know how to react. Her heart was bouncing up and down, her eyes sparkled and just when she was about to text him..
                                                                                       ************
After helping Mom in the kitchen She went to her room, suddenly light flashed on her cellphone. Reluctantly she drew the pattern to unlock the screen. BOOM
It was a text from him. He is back into the city..for her?? She doubts that..But He is back..

A day before She called him to meet her once, to which He replied “I am not in the city”
Disheartened She told him, She wanted to meet him before She leaves the city FOREVER
He said “I will see”.

She told him, She will wait for him at the same restaurant, where they first met. Stupid She, thought that it will ignite all those feelings of their first date. She dressed up beautifully..for him..went to the venue to find him waiting there but the place was so unfamiliar this time. There is no emotion of excitement or nervousness on his face, unlike the first time they met.
He was in his usual casuals…there was a charm in his eyes that always pulled her towards him. They went inside

He : Why did you call me??
She : I wanted to apologies for all that mess, I created in your life ( I…. want another chance)
He : Its fine..Am over it. Do you want something?
She : Nahh. ( I want to talk..i want to make things up )
He : We have to order something..we cant just sit.
She : I will have an Ice-cream
He :Waiter, One Ice-Cream.Please
She : You don’t want anything???
He : No..Food-poisoning
She :What?? How??
He :Nothing Important. I have to go early..Finish it soon
She : I am not here to have Ice-cream. I want to talk…can we just!!! ( Can’t you just understand….I LOVE YOU )
He : See, Am not a crybaby..to cry for all this shit. I have to go early. can you please
She : Fine. lets go. I am done. (how can you be so rude )
He went to counter paid the bill, She kept staring her..Both came out of the restaurant..He went to the parking to take his scooty. Her eyes fixed on him. She wanted to rush back to him..Hug him as tightly as possible. Tell him how much she loved her. But She realized. He is over…Or never loved her.

                                                                                    **********
A tear rolled out of her dried eyes. She logged out and went back to work!!!!!

S.T.A.L.K.E.R!!!!

She read the whole wikipedia page,tears kept rolling down from her eyes, ‘ STALKER’ was the word she was reading about. She couldn’t believe  the person who used to claim that he loved her called her stalker.

All the memories kept popping up in her mind. How they used to talk all the time, how a month old relationship has became her life, how she didn’t mind loosing contacts with her friends when he came into her life, how she crossed all her limits and surrendered herself to him. And then how he said “you’re immature” and left. And now he labelled her a  psycho stalker.

She  didn’t believe, initially that he has left her. She thought he is just mad about something. How can he stop loving her? How can anyone stop loving anyone? But then thousands of unreplied text, hundreds of unattended calls, block over social media and now being convicted as a “STALKER”  made it clear that he didn’t ever love her.

She wondered, what made him label her a stalker .What did she do?

Is it because she kept calling him  everyday even when the calls weren’t answered? Or it is because of those texts?Or may be the long ass paragraphs she wrote to him, telling how much she loves him and misses him and how sorry she is. She kept telling herself that she wasnt stalking him, she was just, trying?

Ironically, that’s what stalkers do. He, loving her once didnt give her the right to barge in his personal space. Even though her intentions were good, she was actually imposing herself and traumatizing him. And that’s not love.Her desperation to contact him and her ability to let go made her a stalker.

And you know what the saddest part is, She is not the only one.

.

 

Say NO to a GIRL CHILD

As told by a relative, her mom cried heavily, on her birth…She wanted a baby boy, as doctors said she can’t conceive…Yeah she went for an ultrasound followed by an abortion, if the feotus happened to be of female sex..but “jaako rakhe saiyan maar sake na koi” since she was too weak and pregnancy was of more then three months the doctors denied…
And so SHE was born……..SHE always used to thought Mom doesn’t loves her much, and when SHE was told all this, SHE became sure that yes Mom doesn’t loves her. But then initially SHE never paid attention to this as SHE knew Dad loves her alott. SHE was the only child of her parents and to be honest SHE didn’t even wanted one,she thought it will reduce her importance, silly SHE. When SHE was younger SHE used to tell Mom stories, how boys are bad and girls are good, how society has changed, how boys are girls are equal , how she has typical old-fashioned thinking…and her mom used to say “you don’t understand “.
SHE was a bright kid, excellent in studies but unlike other parents her dad didn’t wanted her to study and stand on her own feet. Rather he wanted her to study so that she can fulfil the basic educational criteria for “getting married”. So after completing graduation SHE was forced to quit the job after training period to be at home.
Dad was her hero when SHE was a kid, but as soon as SHE grew up…dad started turning into a person, unknown to SHE. Starting from “yahan nahi jaoge, wahan nahi jaoge” to ensure they are home all the time, “ye nahi dekhoge, vo nahi dekhoge” to ensure they do not watch anything on TV other then “news depicting politics” ,”ye nahi pehnoge, vo nahi pehnoge” , ” abhi nahi hasoge, abhi nahi rooge”. “ye songs nahi, ye magazines nahi”, “abhi phone pe baat nahi” dad has started controlling her life. SHE lost all contacts with her friends, and accepted her loneliness as a bliss..Once SHE used to “apple of her dad’s eyes , now SHE is mere a remote controlled robot.
And now when Mom is looking for grooms for her, and can’t find one because SHE don’t have a real brother or 50 lakhs- 60 lakhs to feed those hungry people as dowry, ( yeah, they are ready to make their daughter marry into a family, seeking dowry..as they think its a ritual ) dad gets frustrated and say “I’ll kill myself one day” . Seeing all this “better you should have killed me” is the only thing she can think of. And so understood what mom meant with “you don’t understand”..

So if you can’t handle a girl child, and going to make her life a living hell better don’t give birth to one!!!!

Ek Aam Din….One Mango day In My Mom’s life

Hurriedly she woke up and ran straight into the “Pooja Ghar” took the flower basket and went outside to collect flowers..   Navratre started and  marked the custom of plucking flowers early morning  to impress Goddess Durga .Everyone wants to collect as many flowers as they could, so people wake up early and pluck flowers from others gardens as well to make sure they have enough flowers   When Mom opened the main door, it was still dark outside,only then she realised that she woke up in the middle of night. She closed the door and came back, placed the basket on the table and checked the clock, it was 4:30 only, tired she sat on the sofa to wait for the sunrise and fell asleep.

A loud and clear knock on the door woke her up from sleep. It was Gudda, my cousin , he  came from his friends home after last night’s group studies. Mom woke up opened the door, murmuring that she got late and probably there won’t be any flowers left. She took the basket and went outside to collect flowers.Meanwhile Gudda was instructed to get ready for school.She came back furious…”how can people be so inhuman, the one who has planted the plant is left with no flowers and these ladies who never dared to even water them took all the flowers”.  She then switched on the water motor to fill the water tank,  watered the kitchen garden  and went to wake dad up. Dad woke up and went to the washroom. Gudda came ready, had breakfast, took the lunchbox and went to school. It was 8 now. She went to clean the “Puja Ghar” . After coming back she made tea for Dad…He started reading newspaper enjoying the cup of tea. She came to my room , told me the time that I should start getting ready otherwise I’ll be late for office. I said 5 minutes more and went back to sleep.

Again she went to the kitchen and made breakfast for us. Also made my lunch and packed it. At 9:30 she came to my room again to check whether I got up or not to find out that I was still asleep. She told me that I was going to be late if I didn’t wake up now.I woke up…shouting at her, “Its 9:30 now and you are saying I’ll get late. I am already late. Can’t you just wake me up at 9:00.” She said nothing and went to complete her chores. She placed towel in the bathroom for Dad , placed  neatly ironed formals on bed , went in the kitchen to make chapatis for cozy, (our pet dog at office). Meanwhile I and dad appeared on the dining table for breakfast. And mom arranged our bags. We went to our respective offices at 10:30. After that Mom did the daily dusting, cleaning, sweeping,washing, took bath, offered prayers to God.

Then she again went into the kitchen , this time to prepare lunch. She finished all her work by 1:30. And sat down to fix the button of dad’s shirt. Gudda came back from school, Mom gave him lunch…after having lunch he went to take a nap. It was already 2:30. She was waiting for dad and was tired as hell, wanted to lie down but then dad haven’t came for lunch yet. After an hour or so dad came. He had lunch and after taking a nap, he went to office. After that she  cleaned kitchen and took a small nap.

I and dad came home at 5, Mom was stitching something. Mom made tea for dad, and told me to come for lunch. I went straight into my room and started doing my stuff. She came to my room with lunch and made me eat. Then I went to watch TV she prepared dinner. She gave me light snacks to eat until we have our dinner. Dad came and after freshing up he had tea again and started watching TV. I went to her and  announced that I won’t be having dinner as I am full. She scolded me for not telling her before as she had already made dinner for me as well.  I said nothing just a plain “sorry” and went to sleep. She said nothing, thinking I am sleeping though she was angry.
Then Dad had dinner while watching TV in the living room making mom walk all the way from kitchen to living room to serve him chapatis. Later around 12 she came to my room and found me awake using mobile. She left saying “Jaggi hai aaja  Prashad le le, vo vrat hai mere ” (If you are up, come take Prashad, I was on fast)

Birthday Bash

Birthdays.
Why are they so important? Why do people look forward to their birthdays? How thinking about birthday treat, parties make you so gay. How we call it our big day.
The day on which we came into this world. The day which shows how we are aging. Every year when we are celebrating our birthday, we are celebrating how we are aging.

What actually makes it so important and us so happy, is all those warm wishes, calls, texts, treats symbolizing peopel remember us. We are important enough for them to remember our birth-date. We are important enough for them to make effort to find out our birthdate. We are important enough for them to write a wish or make call to wish us.

I see how facebook sends notification telling everyone on our list that it’s your birthday, and how they dont have to remember it now so they arent actually making efforts but in this busy world, people don’t have time for themselves so even if they are making time by responding to a notification, we are important to them.

So, why are birthdays important?
It’s not because of us, it’s because of people in our lives.

Life

LIFE
some says it’s unpredictable
some says it’s a challenge
some says it’s a dream
some says it’s a game

But then “life is LIFE”. Its all about LIVING and not EXISTING. There are so many hurdles, obstacles. They are people who dont even live beacuse things didn’t work out the way they wanted.
Some failed in love
Some failed in test
Some because they have creepy bosses
while some because they can’t find happiness

But then no one actually wants to die. One can never be happy if he/she continue to look for happiness. Its within us.

When we talk about the thing we like and our eyes twinkle
When we talk to a old friend and tears roll down our eyes
When we find our crush staring us and we blush
When someone random compliments us
When a child say “we are their favourite”
When our parents smile because of us
When someone we never thought a chance with, texts us

There is so much about love, life, living…that we dont know and will never get to know. But then again, life is not about knowing all the answers. Stop complaining, enjoy whatever you have. Do whatever makes you feel happy. Never regret anything, because when you did that, you actually wanted to do that. Life isnt teacher, yet we learn from it. Be content with the liltle love you have, there are many who have nothing and are still smiling. Just live, enjoy, smile, help others.

Nothing

Isn’t that strange, like one moment you feel as if you are the happiest person on the Earth and then the very next moment, nothing is right. And then you  realise, how wrong you were when you thought, you have that one contact, who will understand you whatever the situation is!!

You will try consoling yourself by giving excuses like they are busy, they have their own life, they can’t be available 24*7, you are exaggerating your feelings or they dont know  what you are going through but the thing is that if they claim to be your friend they must know whats going on with your life and make time for you.

All you want do is to cry yourself to bed but then you are so sad that tears wont  roll down your cheeks.
And then you just say “Kuch achcha nahi lag raha” (You don’t feel good)

Handle life

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry, God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.